I’m surprised that I’m actually going to write about this topic today. It’s something I’m very sensitive about. I’ve wasted alot of time, and it’s held me back. ALOT. Maybe some of you can relate.

These Days, We See Everything (or So We Think)

Perhaps the visibility of the internet makes it easier than ever to see other people’s accomplishments. We know the instant that someone has a new boyfriend/girlfriend. We know when they take a trip to an exotic location. We know when they’re pregnant or when they’ve bought a new house or when they’ve been accepted to the school of their dreams. The list goes on and on.

All of this information gives us opportunities to celebrate and congratulate others on their successes. But it can also leave us wishing we had accomplished such-and-such a thing, and envy starts to set in.

To be honest, I’ve struggled with these feelings almost my whole life. It’s only been in the last couple years that I’ve been able to start conquering them. I hope you don’t have this challenge (because it sucks). But if you do, here are some things that have worked for me:

1. Remember that comparing yourself to others is discouraging and sucks your motivation. It’s hard for me to focus on working towards my own goals while I’m comparing myself to others. One of the most motivating things for me is to take steps (even just baby steps) towards my goals. It fires me up and makes me want to keep going.

2. Remember that comparing yourself to others is based on a mentality of scarcity. In other words: if someone succeeds at their goals, someone else has to fail at theirs. In my mind this translates to “if John achieved his goal, then I cannot succeed at mine.” Writing that out just feels depressing. No wonder comparing ourselves sucks away our energy. Everyone that is willing to work and sacrifice can achieve their goals and dreams. It is encouraging to think that there is room for everyone to be successful.

3. Genuinely celebrate other’s successes. I think this is a big part of being a good fellow traveler on the road of life. We are each dealing with our own roadblocks and challenges. We enjoy recognition/appreciation from those closest to us when we reach a milestone. Let’s celebrate each other when we achieve our goals.

4. The only person we should compare to/compete against is ourselves. It’s draining for me to look outward for comparisons. But it’s empowering to look inward. As I improve myself on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, I’m motivated to keep going. Sometimes there are setbacks, but by accepting responsibility for them, I can change and get back on track.

5. Be patient. When I feel the most tempted to compare myself to others, it’s because I want what others have achieved right now. I don’t see how long it took them to get there. I don’t see the failures and setbacks they’ve had. I firmly believe that I can achieve what I want, and I just need to be persistent and patient.

6. Start where you’re at. No one has the same situation, abilities, or resources. Whatever your situation is, accept it, and just start there. Once I was able to say to myself “This is where I’m at. My life decisions and outside influences have brought to this point. Now what am I going to do to get where I want to go?” That was SOOOO powerful. I accepted where I was and was able to start making real progress.

If this is a challenge for you, I REALLY hope these suggestions can help you out. Envy held me back for so long. Conquer it, and don’t let it distract you from what you most want to accomplish. If you have another suggestion about how to overcome envy, please leave a comment below.